Recapping the MLB All-Star Game, Yawn-by-Yawn

7:30 pm: After blowing out the keg of Caracole Nostradamus at Asheville’s Thirsty Monk (the best beer bar in the world, by the way), I returned home to Jeopardy!, a disappointment as it is their annual kids tournament. I watch Around the Horn and PTI on DVR before turning to FOX to watch the All-Star Game against […]

Baseball Writers Unite! For the Good of the Game and One Last Hurrah

Baseball has a set of earnest, esteemed gatekeepers that can solve the woes of the Steroids Era by simply uniting for one cause: Stop voting players to the Hall of Fame until Major League Baseball, not just its players, comes clean. The members of the Baseball Writers Association of America can show their collective strength by forcing baseball to release the names of those 104 players who we now know tested positive in tests conducted in 2003.

It’s Cowbell Hell @ The Trop

Maybe Tropicana Field seemed so bad because I was sitting in the stands, in the sun, with my family, on my daughter’s first birthday at Wrigley Field just two days ago. Maybe it was those annoying cowbells being clanked by all 10,000 in attendance when Evan Longoria stepped to the plate. Maybe it was that I never had any interest in attending a game at a replica of the Kingdome.

The Audacity of Dopes

Sometime way back when I was having a conversation with my friend Alex and his dad Tom. The topic of the conversation was the then seemingly exorbitant salaries being paid to professional athletes. Ryne Sandberg had just received a contract that would pay a gasping $7 million to the future Cubs’ Hall of Fame second […]

Cubs christen the “House that ‘Roids Built” in first step to replace Wrigley

Don’t think for a moment that it is an attempt at nostalgia or coincidence that the Chicago Cubs were chosen to open the new Yankee Stadium during an exhibition game on Friday night. Bud Selig and his cronies are making their first attempt to help current and future Cubs ownership introduce the idea that replacing […]

What’s that you say, Senator Selig?

During Wednesday’s House Financial Services Committee there was a question from one Congressman to the bank executives asking each of them to raise their hand if their company owned a corporate jet. I would have paid a sweet bonus to these executives had one of them had the stones to ask the self-esteemed Congressional committee […]

With A-Roid exposed, it’s time to honor those who did it without the juice

Here’s what I want baseball to answer now that Sports Illustrated has uncovered the facts about A-Roid: Why couldn’t the esteemed George Mitchell find any of this information? Now that the previously assumed Gold Standard of baseball post-steroid era has been uncovered as just another cheat, can we now re-consider the importance of the career […]

Dolfantasy Football, Drunkenness, and the State of Cubs Fans

Once I spent the entire content of the Fantasy Football Commissioner’s State-of-the-League address making fun of tha Don’s “Super-Duper Horses Ass Award” that I awarded him a few weeks ago. See, Tha Don was too engrossed in attending a Cubs’ game in Milwaukee that was moved from Houston due to Hurricane Ike. We all have read his wonderfully rich prose on that experience. But I called him one night, and maybe I should have reminded him that the hurricane might screw up some NFL scheduling, but tha Don was not able to update his roster that week and ended up losing …to a girl … by 2 points … as he started the Texans’ DeMeco Ryans, who was awarded a BYE after the Texans’ game was postponed due to the hurricane.

Cubdom in Need of a Raze

“To P.K. Wrigley and the World’s Championship yet to come.”
- Dedication in the 1946 book The Chicago Cubs, by Warren Brown
 
As a 13-year old I can recall sitting in seventh grade math class, daydreaming like any misanthropic pubescent teen should during pre-algebra. The Cubs had just dropped the last three games of the National […]

Payback for ‘69?

The Cubs theme song for Wednesday night: 

Defeat the Mets, deplete the Mets,
Step right up and beat the Mets.
Hide your kiddies, hide your wife,
Guaranteed to have a letdown tonight.
Because the Mets are really suckin’ it up,
Letting those Brewers catch right up.
Play-offs, Play-offs, not this year in this town,
Delete the M-E-T-S Mets, keep Flushing down.
Oh, the Cubbies […]