Football

Uga VII’s Heart Couldn’t Handle Georgia’s Mediocrity

Turns out Uga VII was as resilient as Willie Martinez’s defense.

Struggling through one of their worst seasons since 1996, the Bulldogs’ mascot, in only his second season of service to the program, succumbed to a massive heart attack at his home in Savannah. He was 28 years old (that’s four human years).

Some SEC pundits are already speculating that Uga VII’s demise was partially due to Richt’s undying loyalty to coordinator Martinez, who is the proverbial fire hydrant for SEC offenses.  Others are suggesting Uga VII was still reeling from UGA donning black helmets for the Florida game last month.

Lucky for him, No. 7 only had to see two Florida-Georgia games, a border war that has more recently resembled the rivalry between dog and bone.

Simply, Uga VII (whose real name was Loran’s Best) couldn’t handle the pressure of following a legend.

Ray Goff couldn’t swing it after Vince Dooley. Uga VII was no match for Uga VI. His predecessor, registered as Uga V’s Whatchagot Loran, was the winningest Uga in UGA history with a lifetime record of 87-27. His epitaph at the Sanford Stadium Uga mausoleum reads: A Tough Dog for a Tough Job.

Lift a leg to that.

How could version No. 7—a number that is supposed to be lucky–possibly live up to that? Well, he couldn’t.

Media Blitz

The most fascinating aspect of the 24 hours following the death of Uga VII has been the media coverage that has stopped just short of issuing a full-page obituary in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

The Seiler family, who has overseen the Uga lineage since the 1950s, is still too emotional to speak publicly, choosing to dispatch a relative to respond to media inquiries.

Swann Seiler, the Seiler’s daughter said this to the Atlanta Journal Consitution: “Mother woke up this morning and said she thought Uga didn’t feel too good…Daddy got up with him and he could tell something was wrong. We have a vet that’s practically on-call just for Uga and he was there in five minutes. They took him to a hospital quick as they could but he didn’t make it.”

Uga VII’s death was the lead story at the top of the AJC’s web site late Thursday evening, as news of the English Bulldog’s demise spread through the Georgia community and probably prompted church bells to ring from Hahira to Chickamauga. The AJC’s first posting Friday morning had the traditional story byline, but also included a line at the end of the story indicating that two other writers had contributed to the detailed.

Three writers, in the midst of the death of newspaper and journalism, contributed to a 700-word story about the death of a dog. This particularly story was entitled “Seiler family devastated by Uga VII’s unexpected death.”  And they wonder why newspapers are having such financial trouble? The AJC has yet to get quote from Bo, the White House dog, on his emotions since hearing of Uga’s passing.

By 12:30 pm Friday, the AJC had issued another story to state that Uga VII would be buried in a ceremony before before Saturday’s Kentucky-UGA game in Athens.

BTW, it will be a private ceremony.  Friends and AKC-registered family only. The Obama’s dog Bo has yet to commit to attending the wake and nosy sources say he is leaning toward licking himself that afternoon, instead.  

But this pales in comparison to what’s happening in Uga’s own backyard (junkyard?) of Athens, Georgia.

Here are the headlines from today’s the Athens Banner-Herald:

A shocking loss: Bulldog Nation mourns sudden death of Uga VII… Uga VII’s team takes it hard…Police chase down naked UGA student.

Scratchin’ for a Replacement

Turns out Uga VII’s passing was also bad timing for the Dawgs, who only have one day to prepare for the Kentucky game, meaning that there will be no mascot on the sidelines for this weekend’s game—a first for a game in Athens since 1956. Previously, Georgia has allowed substitute mascots to roam the sidelines until a new Uga was named. Ted Kennedy had this rule altered when he thought John Kerry would be named mascot back in 2004.

Wheels are in motion for a change to this law in time for the season finale against Georgia Tech and whatever second tier bowl game invites the Dogs.

The only question that remains is when a new Uga will named to pee on the hedges and lunge toward Auburn receivers. Sources say a new Uga will be chosen early in 2010. We will only know when that has occurred when white smoke emerges from Uga’s air-conditioned luxury dog house.

But UGA better be aware of the America’s infatuation with political correctness. See, by rule, an Uga can only be pure white, which might raise the hackles of diversity advocates within the canine community. Little was made of past substitute Ugas who were not allowed to have the ultimate honor bestowed upon them because they had brown spots or a brown tip on their tail. Such was the case with Otto, an Uga stand-in during the 1986 season. That was then.

If ever there was time for the Dawgs to wear black, it would be Saturday’s Kentucky game.

 

© 2009 Teflon Don Sports.